Dear Presidente Fox
Dear Presidente Fox,
My family and I are planning an extended stay in Mexico soon, but I plan to visit without the usual legal niceties like visas, passports, etc. In fact, we plan to just walk into your country at some deserted point along the border. In the reciprocal spirit of NAFTA, we would like the following arrangements to be made upon our arrival:
1. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
2. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws, and I don't think local cities or villages should bother me.
3. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from you to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.
4. Free medical care for my entire family.
5. Free school for my kids, or at least they will pay the same tuition as your kids.
6. Free breakfast and lunch at those schools.
7. English-speaking teachers at those schools, who will teach my children in English.
8. The schools also need to include classes on American culture and history.
9. I also want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school, with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
10. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
11. All government forms need to be printed in English.
12. Guaranteed low interest home loans.
13. When I buy that home, I plan to fly the U.S. Flag from my housetop, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
14. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and I would prefer if you don't enforce any labor laws.
15. Finally, please tell all the people in your country to be extremely nice, and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on your economy.
Sincerely,
Your friendly gringo to the north
Hat tip to Dennis K. at the flying –monkey right Blog
Visit Dennis at his blog for more right on commentary.
My family and I are planning an extended stay in Mexico soon, but I plan to visit without the usual legal niceties like visas, passports, etc. In fact, we plan to just walk into your country at some deserted point along the border. In the reciprocal spirit of NAFTA, we would like the following arrangements to be made upon our arrival:
1. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
2. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws, and I don't think local cities or villages should bother me.
3. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from you to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.
4. Free medical care for my entire family.
5. Free school for my kids, or at least they will pay the same tuition as your kids.
6. Free breakfast and lunch at those schools.
7. English-speaking teachers at those schools, who will teach my children in English.
8. The schools also need to include classes on American culture and history.
9. I also want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school, with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
10. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
11. All government forms need to be printed in English.
12. Guaranteed low interest home loans.
13. When I buy that home, I plan to fly the U.S. Flag from my housetop, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
14. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and I would prefer if you don't enforce any labor laws.
15. Finally, please tell all the people in your country to be extremely nice, and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on your economy.
Sincerely,
Your friendly gringo to the north
Hat tip to Dennis K. at the flying –monkey right Blog
Visit Dennis at his blog for more right on commentary.
posted by web_loafer at 11:38 PM
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